You know how it is… Your friends call you to go out for a drink and you’re keen to catch up. Then you’re given the drinks menu. You flip through pages and pages of different wines from every region of France, and by the time you get to the end of list you are met with a choice of soft drinks as your only alcohol-free option.
Now we all love a bit of nostalgia to our childhood, but after a couple of lemonades it does start to feel a bit boring.
Whether you’re on your Ps, you’re the DD or you’re simply not in the mood for an alcoholic drink, sometimes all you need is a cheeky mocktail.
That’s why I have put together a list of bars (with alcohol-free options) that will make you forget that lemonade was ever an option.
Teller
81 Lygon St, Brunswick East
Teller, renovated from an old bank, is the perfect stylish spot to be found at on a Saturday night. However, if your schedules pretty tight, don’t fret! Teller is open from 11:30am until the last customer leaves that same night. That’s right, a good night out is no longer limited to just weekends!
With a wine list that includes five alcohol-free wines & wine alternatives, four beers with <0.5% alcohol content, and six non-alcoholic cocktails, you’ll be spoilt for choice!
Whether you’re there for Schnitzel Mondays, Steak Night Wednesdays or their Sunday Roast, there is always something scrumptious cooking at Teller. Or test your knowledge and pop in for Trivia Thursdays for a chance to win their weekly cash jackpot!
The Tipsy Cow
395 Bay St, Port Melbourne
Don’t be fooled by the name. Although The Tipsy Cow is primarily known for their exquisite cocktails, they also have an extensive list of softails.
The Tipsy Cow has a range of fifteen (yes, you read that right. Fifteen!) unique softails, including three hot softails for those cold winter nights.
Whether you’re craving a refreshing cranberry spritz in summer, or a toasty apple less toddy in winter, you’ll be well looked after.
Walk through to the courtyard, grab a cushion and get comfy while you catch up with your mates. And if it’s been too long since your pups have had a catch up as well, bring them along! The Tipsy Cow is welcoming of all who have an alcohol-free lifestyle (even our furry four-legged friends).
Polly Bar
401 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
If you too have watched Marie Antoinette a few too many times and feel like pretending you’re the sweet-toothed Queen of France, Polly Bar is the place for you! As you step through the doors you will feel as though you have been transported back in time to a 1920s Parisian bar. Sit on a red plush throne (because why not?) and feel like an absolute queen as you sip at an expertly made mocktail.
The mixologists at Polly Bar give their mocktails just as much love and attention as they give their cocktails, so rest-assured you will be well looked after.
Bang Bang
294 Glen Huntly Rd, Elsternwick
Do not be deterred by the brickwork city-building exterior because what you’ll find inside is just the opposite. Bang Bang’s lush green interior is the perfect refresher from a long week at work. Grab a seat inside or head out to the courtyard for some fresh air and a relaxed social setting.
Order a non-alcoholic gin and tonic, or get a different classic made with their selection of non-alcoholic “spirits”. If you’re in the mood for a cocktail Bang Bang has an alcohol-free mojito, or if you feel like being transported to a tropical island, enjoy the fruity freshness of a pornstar martini.
If you are wanting something small to eat, Bang Bang has a range of Indochine inspired dishes, or if you’re hankering for a feed, go all out and order the banquet option for $69PP.
Joey Smalls
284 Sydney Road, Brunswick
Joey Smalls is exactly what I think of when I hear the phrase hole-in-the-wall bar. Behind the small, unassuming entrance, you will find an aesthetic cream interior, light washed wooden booths and scattered greenery.
If you’re in dire need of a pick-me-up, order a round of Espresso no-tinis for that extra caffeine hit. Or, if you are feeling like something different, get something special made with a selection of their non-alcoholic spirits.
Grab a burger, some tacos or just something small to share. Joey Smalls has something for everyone, with almost all burgers able to be made gluten-free, plus a few vegan options available as well.
The Common Man
39 Dukes Walk, South Wharf
Just finished work in the CBD? Jump on a tram and head to The Common Man in South Wharf. The calming waterfront view will melt away any stress that the work day has caused.
The Common Man offers a selection of alcohol-free beers, wines and prosecco, plus four house-made mocktails for your choosing.
If you enjoy watching a good footy game, head through to the beer garden where you’ll find the mega screen, streaming live sports on Foxtel.
Let drinks and a game turn into dinner and a long catch up, and order from a selection of pizzas, burgers, and other options.
The Common Man is also pet-friendly, so bring your dog along to join in on the fun!
Looking for a fun fruity cocktail (hold the alcohol).
Look no further!
