We all have our stock standard coffee order. And to the delight of baristas around the world, there are hundreds of ways we choose to enjoy our cups of sunshine. But did you know that your morning cuppa speaks volumes about the type of person you are? Caffeine is the new addiction and for many of us not only a want but a daily necessity – strong, weak, large or small, what does your coffee say about you?
Your coffee order is pretty simple (but somehow people never seem to get it right) unlike you. Latte drinkers cannot be easily described. You are organised yet spontaneous. You enjoy the taste of coffee but the perfect milk and froth is where it’s at. You like hot days, cool nights, pretty take away cups and enjoy trying new places.
You are an organised person with a routine set in place and there is no BS. You are scrupulous about the amount of froth on your flat white… simply because there shouldn’t be any. You know what you want and how you want it.
Sweet on the top, serious business on the bottom; and that’s how you live your life. You are serious when required and usually are the last to leave the office. Mainly because you spent the better half of the morning catching up on your Instagram newsfeed getting back to where you left off last night before bed but that’s because you work better at night.
Short Black/Espresso (if you’re being fancy)
You are a professional coffee drinker. The darker and stronger the better. You are straight to the point and get the job done. You need a coffee hit straight away, probably from staying up way later than you said you would. Oh and sugar in coffee? Please.
You take your time with the menu and when the waiter asks if you’re ready to order you say yes, but let everyone else order before you because you’re really not ready and have changed your mind (again).
BTW- this isn’t really a coffee its dirty water. This can go join its good friend Nescafe’.
You want to pretend you like coffee but secretly hope the chocolate will hide the taste but give you that much needed wake me up everyone talks about getting with coffee. You are the life of the party, a happy chap and enjoy a good old emoji conversation from time to time.
Forewarning. Don’t let the name deceive you. Though it has ‘latte’ in its name, we are really sorry to inform you, but this in fact is not coffee. Not sure how it made it on the list but lucky you! You don’t need caffeine to help you start your day (secretly we’re all jealous), because you’re naturally energetic and full of life, putting a smile on everyone’s face around you.
Bow chicka wow wow explains you and this coffee pretty well. Good things come in small packages. It’s all fun, action and energy with you and you’re a serious ‘yay-sayer’. Go you.
Vanilla or Caramel Latte
Just like a Mocha you want to pretend to be a coffee drinker but you can’t handle the bitter taste and 3 sugars just doesn’t hide it enough, so when all else fails, flavoured syrup is your best friend. You want to get down to business but you get easily distracted. Nevertheless, your colourful personality and vivacious attitude to life forgives you for your ‘coffee’ choice.
½ strength decafe’ vanilla soy latte with 2 sugars and extra dollop
Please, back away from the counter slowly, put your wallet away, turn around and pretend nothing ever happened. You have just destroyed something beautiful.
You don’t understand the hype about coffee or the need for it but order something that sounds like a coffee when out with friends, just to have something to sip on that resembles what everyone else has in their hand. You may follow fads and crazes yet you know exactly who you are and what you stand for.
This we will allow. Sadly we understand you can’t enjoy milk but you try and still have a coffee a day (after all, it keeps the doctor away). You go Glen CoCo.
By Adriana Vanni