A half-eaten sausage roll in your handbag, mysterious leg bruises and an epic hangover are all signs of a good time the night before. When you want to feel better stat, sometimes a Berocca and Bacon and Egg McMuffin just won’t cut it.
All hail the Bloody Mary. Traditionally made with vodka, tomato juice, lemon juice and Worcestershire, a Bloody Mary in 2017 is so much more than that. The fine art of balancing the flavours in the drink is essential. Bartenders have perfected the balance between the salty, sweet, spicy, and savoury components, each giving their own twist to the classic hangover-curing cocktail.
So pop some Panadol, put on your biggest sunnies and brave the world to make your way through this list of bloody good Bloody Marys and get your hungover hands on some of Melbourne’s best.
60 Smith Street, Collingwood
You can’t go to Mr Scruffs and not order the Kevin Bacon. With everything you could ever want and need in a Bloody Mary, the garnish is the real hero; celery, cucumber, olives, pickle, jalapeños, and a decent sized rasher of semi-dried bacon jerky to top it off. At only $10 between 3pm and 5pm on Sundays (when you need them the most), you can’t go wrong. Pair with some of Mr Scruff’s deliciously greasy dude food (anyone for poutine?) and your Sunday hangover will be a thing of the past.
LEONARD’S HOUSE OF LOVE
3 Wilson Street, South Yarra
The dream team behind the now closed Sweetwater Inn, once famous for their hangover-curing Mary’s, is responsible for the Bloody Marys at Leonard’s House of Love. Sit back, relax and make yourself at home in the comfortable 70’s inspired log cabin lounge, and sip your hangover away with one of their carefully crafted blends. The best bit? They are served in a boot-shaped glass. No matter how intense the hangover, it is impossible not be happy when drinking out of a boot-shaped glass.
252 Swanston Street, Melbourne CBD
Beer hall, eating house, disco AND home to one of the best Bloody Marys in Melbourne CBD. Served in a yard glass, Cookie’s Bloody Mary is worth the mission up the stairs. The skilled bartenders will cater to your needs, somehow always managing to make your Mary exactly the way you like it. Never too spicy and never too mild, the size of the drink alone should be enough to fix your hangover
LE BON TON
51 Gipps Street, Collingwood
It’s very possible that Le Bon Ton may be the cause of your hangover, but it can also be the cure with their Le Bon Ton Mary and like almost everything else at Le Bon Ton, the house-made and house-smoked ingredients pack a punch. Made with pickle juice and a decent splash of red wine, the smokey flavours of the tomato and chargrilled capsicum garnish are perfectly balanced with a skewer of house pickled vegetables.
BORSCH VODKA AND TEARS
173 Chapel Street, Windsor
Before you make your way through their impressive cocktail list, start your Sunday off right with Borsch, Vodka and Tears’ Bloody Mary. These guys know vodka, and the homemade garlic and chilli infused vodka used in their Bloody Mary is no exception. Their Instagram worthy Bloody Mary is so well put together the art-like appearance alone will make you feel better, and the carefully arranged garnish with all the trimmings will make you the envy of passers-by on Chapel Street.
THE BEAUFORT & IKE’S
421 Rathdowne Street, Carlton
Not quite capable of leaving bed just yet? Never fear, Beautfort & Ike’s have you got your covered, joinging forces with Deliveroo who can…wait for it… deliver you a bottled hangover cure straight to your door! Made with their own secret sauce, pickle brine and house-made tomato juice, choose from a Bloody Mary (classic vodka), Bloody Maria (tequila) or Red Snapper (gin). They are made to order, so you can count on them arriving at your door fresher than you are feeling.
Hangover cured. You’re welcome.
By Madeline Wallman